You’ve hesitated, and the yelling didn’t phase the troll. He picks up the length of pipe instead, and hits you hard on your elbow, then on your knee, then on your head. Dizzy and hyperventilating, you head back to the main passage way, up to the street and sit down on a bench. You remember someone asking if you are ok, then you next find yourself in an urgent care clinic, being checked for concussion. By the time the tests are done and you’re let go, it’s 8 pm. You hail a taxi for your conference hotel. Not again on this trip will you take the subway, and not again will you tell anyone you got beat up by a troll. That couldn’t be possible, right?

This ends your adventure.

You grab the length of pipe and swing at the troll. The swing connects with the side of his head (he’s short!), and knocks him unconscious. Good shot! You drop the pipe and shine the cell phone flashlight on him. He certainly looks like a troll: long nose, big head, gnarled hands, warts and stink everywhere. You film a quick snippet of video and head above ground to get help. When you find the subway attendant helping the rest of the stranded riders and get him to come back with you, the room is empty.

If you upload the video to YouTube, go to Block 5.

If you delete the video, this ends your adventure.

The video gets a little bit of attention during the rest of your stay in New York, but slowly attention for it begins to build and you find yourself invited for television and radio interviews about your experience and your video. You vow always to take the subway when you come to New York, or any other city with underground trains.

This ends your adventure.

You take a taxi into the city. It’s an uneventful ride as usual. The dense traffic and aggressive driving were overwhelming the first time you came to New York, but you’ve braced yourself for it now. You leave your luggage at your conference hotel.

Proceed to Block 7

You head out on foot for Riverside Park. There’s a walking path along the river which eventually connects to the docks at the boat basin. Yachts and house boats take up most of the slips. A few sailboats are here, too, and on one you see the captain coiling rope while he walks along the edge of the deck. The rope suddenly tightens, tangles his feet and he falls into the river.

If you go to help him, proceed to Block 8.

If you call 911 instead of helping him yourself, proceed to Block 14.

You rush over to the sailboat slip and try to pull on the rope to help the sailor up. Instead, you’re pulled into the water, as well. You realize something other than the man or the dock is pulling on the rope. You disentangle yourself from the rope and manage to pull the sailor up onto the marina, as well.

Did you hurt yourself in the rescue? Go to Block 13.

Did you think you saw something underwater? Go to Block 9.

“Did you see something under there?” the sailor asks, bewildered.

“Yeah, I think I did,” you answer. “Can I borrow that mop?”

“My mop?”

You have a clip on the back of your phone that you usually use to set it on your dashboard, but it’ll hold onto a mop, too. You fix the phone onto the mop, check the seals on the water-resist cover, hit the record button and dip the phone into the water. You record for a few moments, and then pull it back up.

You and the sailor look at the video.

“Doesn’t look like anything to me,” he says. With a shudder, he adds, “Might have just been a rat doing the breast stroke.”

 If you delete the video, go to Block 10.

If you upload the video to YouTube, go to Block 5.

You return to the hotel to clean up then decide a water rescue is a good reason to regain balance with some retail therapy.

If you go to Tiffany’s, go to Block 11.

If you go to Pearl River Mart, go to Block 12.

Tiffany’s is a sort of Disneyworld version of its former self. One or two people are probably here to truly choose a piece of jewelry. The rest of the customers are tourists or Audrey Hepburn fans taking Instagram selfies.

You don’t care. The jewelry is gorgeous, and while you can’t afford anything you like – yellow diamond stud earrings, for example – you also don’t pull out your phone and take pictures.

It might be because you’re a little more present that you notice one woman basically sneaking up on a couple looking at necklaces. Before you can blink, the sneaking woman has grabbed the necklace out of the customers’ hands and is running toward you for the door. You don’t exactly tackle her but a lucky elbow lands in her ribs and makes it easier for the security guards to catch her. As they take her back to the office, the assistant manager comes over to thank you.

“We hope this didn’t stop you from finding what you’re looking for here,” she tells you.

You tell her you were just browsing.

“Some browsing. We appreciate your help. Here’s a $200 gift card. Please spend it.”

You do. Added to the $75 you had as mad money, you can now afford just about anything from the sterling silver section. You pick a delicate filigree ring with a light pink ruby in the center.

This ends your adventure.

Pearl River Mart is a treasure trove of Asian everything – dishes and cookware, paper lanterns, lucky cats, Japanese snacks, jade jewelry, satin slippers, cotton robes, carved figurines, stationery, anime books and Korean skin care kits. You buy some things for yourself, other things for gifts for upcoming birthdays.

As you’re waiting at the jewelry counter to see a pair of earrings in the case, you watch the couple ahead of you looking at jade bracelets. Out of the corner of your eye, you see another woman sneak up behind them, and snatch one of the bracelets, then run toward the door. You don’t exactly tackle her but a lucky elbow lands in her ribs and makes it easier for the security guards to catch her.

As they take her back to the office, the assistant manager comes over to thank you. She offers you a gift card not to Pearl River Mart, but to the dim sum restaurant across the street. You pay for your purchases – including the earrings – and finish the day with dumplings and buns.

This ends your adventure.

You do feel a little dizzy and out of breath. You take a taxi to an urgent care clinic, being checked for concussion. By the time the tests are done and you’re let go, it’s 8 pm. You hail a taxi for your conference hotel. So much for a lovely day in New York.

This ends your adventure.

The Harbor Patrol comes quickly to help the sailor. You’re still a bit of a mess from the chaos, but at least the sailor is OK.

If you want to go shopping next, go to Block 10.

If you want to go to a museum for an exhibit of Arab calligraphy, go to Block 15.

You did a little research ahead of time and know that there are two weeks left for the Arab calligraphy exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Waiting in line for admission tickets, you see Trevor Noah. You’re a huge fan of the show.

 If you talk to him, go to Block 16.

If you are too afraid to talk to him, go to Block 17.

You tell Trevor Noah how much you enjoy The Daily Show and wish him a nice visit to the exhibit. He nods politely, lets you go in front of him in line and you are glad you talked to him. The Arab calligraphy is beautiful and you buy a scarf at the museum gift shop.

This ends your adventure.

You let a family with kids go ahead of you in line while you dig out your cell phone to snap a covert video of your Trevor Noah sighting. As you record, you see that the celebrity is pointing at the family behind him. When they get up to the admission clerk, you can hear him explain that their tickets have been paid for. How cool! The Arab calligraphy is, too, but that’s not what you’ll remember most about this day.

 If you upload the video to YouTube, go to Block 18.

If you share the video with a few friends, this ends your adventure.

The video gets a little bit of attention during the rest of your stay in New York, but slowly attention for it begins to build and you find yourself invited for television and radio interviews about your experience and your video. Trevor Noah never acknowledges this small act of kindness, but you vow always to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on visits to New York.

This ends your adventure.

Via taxi, of course, you take your luggage to your conference hotel and clean up after your subway stalling.

If you want to take a walk in the park, go to Block 7

If you want to go shopping next, go to Block 10.

If you want to go to a museum for an exhibit of Arab calligraphy, go to Block 15.